Lent Book 2024 chapter 7
“Grief is the price we pay for love” HM Queen Elizabeth II
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.” C. S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed”
In her chapter on grief, Rev Kate discusses death, funerals and our reactions to them. Things like divorce, children leaving home, loss of a limb and other losses are not dealt with here.
There are two things from this chapter I’d highlight. Firstly, death is real. It happens to everyone. There are no exceptions. It is a hard fact of life which we can either try to avoid or confront. Avoiding the subject does us no favours in the long run. That said, we do not have to be brutal about facing up to the fact of death. Better to acknowledge this before our closest friend is dying from a fatal disease. It might not take away all the shock when someone dies, but it can take away the distabilising moment of surprise.
Secondly, be gentle with yourself and others. We deal with grief in our own time and in different ways. No two people are the same, each death is unique. However, we have much in common and we all share the same humanity.
At the time of writing I’m finding this subject hard for close personal reasons and offer you my sympathy if you are in a similar situation. Grief sets us on a winding path which does not always go upwards, let alone straight. Some parts are smooth going, others are rough. The gospel insight is that that path does have an end.
Gracious God, sustain and support those whose love for their beloved was dearest, whose loss is greatest. May they find beyond the tears unclouded visions of your love, and may they see beyond their darkness, the clear shining of your light. Set their troubled hearts at rest, banish all their fears, and hold them in the comfort of your peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Book of Common Order)
You might find some of the resources from the Marie Curie charity helpful.
“Have a Little Faith. Life lessons on Love, Death, and How Lasagne Always Helps.” by The Reverend Kate Bottley. Published by Penguin, 2023
Sundry Times Too 